Tuesday, June 25, 2013

Bandwagon Haters and Lebron James. A Rant.

Sit down and shut up, because I’m about to go on a rant like you’ve never seen. 

Topics to be ranted about:
Bandwagon fans (I’m pro-bandwagon)

I have a little question for those of you who can’t stand bandwagon fans… 
Did you see Mumford and Sons live at some small venue before they got big? 
Did you always drink PBR and now you’re annoyed that EVERYONE drinks it?
Did you have cupcakes at your 10th birthday party and now hate it when people bring them in to the office…  Because you liked cupcakes before there was a show about them. 

That my friends, makes you a hipster. 

Do you realize how ridiculous that sounds?  I loved cupcakes when I was 10, so they’re MY thing.  You don’t get to love cupcakes, even though they’re awesome and handheld and can easily be transformed into a cupcake sandwich. 

If your mom didn’t love them, you don’t get to love them.  If you didn’t live in Cupcake City, you’re a bandwagon cupcake fan and you need to close your eyes when Cupcake Wars is on. 

So you never really gave much thought to cupcakes, you stuck to muffins and lemon bars, but then you stopped in a bakery and tried one and now you want to try them all?  TOO BAD.  They’re my thing. 

Outside of that “hipster” community, sports is the only entertainment source in which you are chastised for recognizing talent along with mainstream America.  

That's like saying, you're not allowed to see a movie if you didn't see it before it got good reviews.   

So go ahead and like that team that’s playing well, even if you don’t have a tie to that city…  It feels amazing to have “your team” win a championship, no matter the length of time it’s been “your team”.  And as a fan of sports (don’t worry, I’ve been one my whole life, I’m not a bandwagon sports fan) I want everyone to experience that amazing feeling. 

My second point… Lebron James.  AKA MVP AKA The most polarizing sports figure since…. Any other amazing sports player. 

Every single time a championship comes up, in any sport, Iowa bandwagon haters come out of the woodworks.  They’re more obnoxious than the actual bandwagon fans! NEWSFLASH: we don't have any professional sports teams in Des Moines, so unless you moved here from a major metropolis (why?) literally EVERYONE is a bandwagon fan.  It's like hating immigrants and then celebrating your Irish heritage on St. Patrick's Day.  You never thought of that one, did you?  Whoever came over from Ireland from your family was an immigrant.  (a little explanation just in case you're dumb)

I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been having a conversation and mentioned that my boyfriend is a Heat fan. 

People are all, “WHAT?! WHAT IS HE THINKING?!”

And I’m all, “He’s a big D-Wade fan”

And they’re all, “Okay, that’s okay then”

Why is that okay, but being a fan of the best basketball player in 2013 (Lebron) isn’t.

So he’s damn good and he knows it…

Are we not allowed to recognize our own talents anymore?  Next you're going to tell me women aren't allowed to love their bodies despite being beautiful.  

You know who else is good and knows it? 

  1. Morgan Freeman
  2. Justin Timberlake
  3. Steve Jobs
  4. Julia Child
  5. The Queen
  6. David Beckham
  7. Kate Upton (she's good at being pretty and she knows it)
And we freaking love them! Can’t get enough of Justin Timberlake’s new album, everyone cried when David Beckham retired, thank goodness he’s still looking fine, amiright? We bought every damn thing Steve Jobs told us to. Don't get me started on how many times that video of Kate Upton doing the Dougie was viewed...  But Lebron took it one step too far.  He moved to a town where he could be insanely successful and make his dreams come true.

Tell me you wouldn’t do that if given the opportunity.  Whether your dreams mean the right job, a more temperate climate, a new adventure, a good school for your kids…

Whatever it means, do it.  Because there will always be someone there to call you out for not being “born and raised” in the town you live and being “too good” for the town you’re from.  But you’ll be laughing all the way to success. 


  1. I LOVE this post! :) Laughed out loud :)

  2. BAHA! I *almost* spit my wine out (but I didn't, it's good wine -- no wasting here).